Last week things came to a head and I spoke how I felt. I was brutally honest and am not proud of myself for how I have made him feel. Christmas night he chose to return the favour telling me that he does not think we will ever be happy together without the other one of us been unhappy. He is right and I know he is. But what is the step forward from here? I am unsure on whether or not he would like me to leave straight away or whether I should hang about until I find somewhere else i can stay. After all, I left my job, my city to be with him and I cannot just go back with no job, nowhere to live etc.
Christmas has come and gone in a blur. We exchanged presents and smiled in front of families. I have an idea that most of his friends know now what is going on so I assume they will be wanting me out of the house fairly shortly.
Last night he said that we should see how things go. I feel that it may be too late for that.
Meanwhile, the guy who I had sort of met, is not showing any signs that he could be the one that Ive been waiting for to sweep me off my feet. Id like to think he could be, but Ive followed logic/brain senses over feeling/heart too many times now.
